..is not what I have when it comes to writing to my blog. Obviously. I have been slightly busy though. My life as a self proclaimed soccer mom keeps me busy. We have been eating 2 dinners a week in the car, 1 in the church kitchen, and the other 4 at home, or a restaurant, because I’m to tired to unwilling to do it myself. I hate that! So I have a dilemma that maybe typing out will help me solve, or at least admit to because I have to see the words I wrote.
I’m in a funk…. or something. I don’t really know what to call it because I don’t really know what it is. I have a list of junk I need to do everyday. Well, I use the word list loosely, mainly because I don’t write lists. Grocery lists don’t count. I feel like I could sit on the couch and stare into the wall all day and still get the same amount of stuff done. I hate this lazy, procrastinating feeling that I can’t get over. I am busy constantly though it seems. I’m running boys to school, I’m running to Bible Study 2x’s a week, I’m working in classes, I’m teaching Sunday school and Wednesday night classes, I’m at soccer practices and games, I’m pretending keep house, I’m being a wife and mom. It’s draining sometimes, and I know I’m not the first to write about it, but I feel this weighed down feeling more and more often lately. I do not feel as though I am depressed. I’m just to busy and I don’t know what to cut out. And to be honest, those things keep me going because they are fun, but by the time I get home and see that pile of laundry or dishes, I’m tired and/or apathetic. If anyone knocked on my door right now, I would not be ashamed to let them in, and this is the case most of the time, but it’s the feeling inside of me that I’m not doing enough and I really don’t care… but not in a positive way. I thinks it’s a level of perfectionism that I expect from myself and I’m no where near reaching it so it’s got me in a funk. I often catch myself thinking that if I change my circumstances, my attitude or problems will change. How many more times must I be disappointed before I see the truth?! Please someone tell me I’m not the only one who goes through this thought process!
Oh, and in other news Fred broke his arm in a tragic mishap with the monkey bars. If you ever get the itch to rumble with the monkey bars, remember, they rarely lose….. see link for pictures.