Easter 2009

This year Easter was a little different.  Well it was a lot different. First of all we were at my parents house instead of here at home. It was the first Easter we spent somewhere else.  Saturday after the boys soccer game we headed out.  We got to my hometown just in time for my nieces birthday party. She turned 3 on tax day. That was my grandmother’s birthday too. She had a funny joke about that.  It was a fine birthday party and like any good auntie, I forgot to take pictures. I have no idea how this happened, other than after 2 hours of soccer and another 2 hours of driving, my brain was mush.  This sounds like a good enough excuse to use.

Then Easter morning we went to church service with my sister.  We are Protestant, my sister is Catholic.  It was quite different, and it started VERY early. So no family picture this year on Easter morning. I will have to take one some other morning…. we’ll pretend that it’s Easter! 10 years from now, no one will ever know the true story. Except for you because I just told you.  After the service my sister’s friends invited us over for breakfast. It was a very nice visit, with great conversation plus homemade waffles and strawberries while listening to the boys laughing and playing with the cousins equals singing in my heart. We got back to Nana and Papa’s house and the daddies went and hid the eggs.

We got some funny pictures of the cousins, some were happy, some crying,  and some just not paying attention.

After evaluating their loot we took the boys over to Shoshone Falls.  I grew up with the falls being right there and being able to go see them whenever, but my boys have never seen them! This is an absolute tragedy to me. The falls do not fall all year round. This is because there is a dam upstream that holds the water all winter, then they let it go when they know they have enough for all the irrigating for the summer. Easter weekend was the first weekend that the falls were flowing. It was busy but as usual it was beautiful. Breathtaking beautiful, even though I have seen it a million times. Perhaps even more so because I was seeing it with my kids for the first time.

It still brings tears to my eyes. Is is even possible to look at this magnificent falls and NOT see the power and awe of The Lord? Look he even puts a rainbow in it!  What a beautiful Easter treat to us! He has risen indeed!!

I can not wait until we get Fred’s little disposable camera to see it through his eyes. They loved it.

After the falls we headed over to my brother’s house for some a yummy Easter dinner. My bother had smoked a turkey and it was delish!  YUM! Then before we headed back home to get those boys in bed for school the next day we headed over to the park by his house to let the kids run around. My children climbed trees instead. Of course.

That was our 2009 Easter.  A little different than our traditional Easter but one that I will treasure forever!

 

A Love Story– Part 5.5

I spent the day after Valentines Day nursing a huge hangover. By Monday I was feeling better and headed of to school.  It had become my daily habit to arrive at school a little early so I could check my email. This day was no different. As the computer warmed up and logged on I was feeling a lot better than I had on Saturday night. My pity party was over. As my inbox was opening I saw that I had an email from Jason. He had send it at 3:30 Friday night.  I had checked my email last at about 3:20,  just 10 minutes before he sent his. I clicked on it and read. I was stunned into a stupor. I think I must have read it 10 times before it sunk in.  He has said that if I were to get stood up on Saturday and I was alone in another town, he wanted me to call him and he would come get me. I had no idea what to think. What did that mean? Was he serious? What about La Femme Nikita?  What was he talking about?  I think I retained no educational information for the rest of the day.

 

A Love Story–Part 5

**I know it has taken me awhile to write the next installment of our story, but we are getting close to the part that I’m not so proud of.  But you know I’ve done a lot of things that make me cringe and want to forget about.  But I know that Jesus can forgive a whole lot of things, and he has. So I will finish telling my story and you can judge me if you want. I refuse to censor myself, but I will be  leaving some of  the details out….**

 

After the February drill Jerk-Boy and I started to plan a Valentine’s date. Valentines was on a Saturday that year. We were going to meet in a town halfway between mine and his.  I called around for a hotel room, and did a search for restaurants and movies. It seemed like we both wanted to spend some quality time together. But the whole time I was planning this ‘romantic getaway’ all I could think about was Jason.  I was starting to feel really guilty. The guilt left very quickly when the day before Valentines I got a call from Jerk-Boy himself and canceled on me. He said he had an emergency drill to attend that weekend.  You would think I would have been miserable. I was. I was miserable that I was home alone and I knew Jason was going out with La Femme Nikita. I called him Saturday afternoon. I had some dumb excuse about a concert that was coming up and I wanted information about it.  I had no plans at all on going, but my friend convinced me it was a prefect reason to call. I couldn’t tell by his voice if he was glad I called or if I was just some kid bugging him while he was busy.  I did learn that yes indeed he was still planning on spending the evening with La Femme. He asked why I wasn’t with Jerk-boy, and I explained it and tried to play it off. The whole conversation lasted no more than 10 minutes. And it made my day oh so much more miserable. So I did what everyone does when they are miserable. I went to a party and got drunk. I was drunk and watched a whole lot of Nine Inch Nails videos.  That is not a combination I would suggest doing. Ugh.   I also cried a lot.  I hated that La Femme. I hated her a lot.

 

Day at the Zoo

A few weekends ago the boys and I had a four day weekend. Actually the whole state did, as it was a state in-service day. Can I just tell you how much I love state in service days?  A lot!  I love having my kids home with me with no responsibility at all.  The school my boys go to are very hands on in their teaching techniques. They have what they call focused investigations, and the kids really dig in and learn without even knowing it.  As a visual person this thrills me to no end.  I’m sure other schools do this to, but my kids don’t go there, so whatever. Our focused investigation right now is about animals. The E is learning all of his letters based on animals, nursery rhymes about animals, name tags with animals…. stuff like that. But G is a little more in depth. He had to write his first report this year about a beaver. He had to find out the generic basics, where do they live, what do they eat, are they mammals?  He drew pictures and made a poster and then wrote out a report, careful not to make it look like it was copied. He was very concerned about that.  I love how a simple report on a beaver opened him up to so many questions that I had no answer to. I can’t remember how many times I had to tell him we’d have to look that up on the internet. Most questions were answered, but some were forgotten by the time we got on the computer that day.  They are both so excited about animals right now.  So on our little vacation from school we decided to go to the Zoo. So did everyone else in Idaho. That place was packed!  But to be fair, it was discount day! Now our little zoo doesn’t have much, but we are so lucky to have what we do here. I’m so grateful for that. And as busy as it was, once you get in and start moving around, you’d never know. We never had to wait or got smooshed at any exhibit.

 

When the boys were littler and we went to the zoo, I always came home with 14 kamillion pictures of the same 15 animals. The boys were always in the stroller or off eating some strange dirt clump. Their interest never stayed on the animal for very long. If we stayed at the zoo for more than an hour it was because they were playing on the park toys. Not really what I paid all that money for, but oh well, they always seemed to have had fun. This was a completely different experience for me!  This was the first time in about 8 years that I did not take a stroller to the zoo…. I don’t even own a stroller!  I love not owning a stroller. It rocks my world.

Every exhibit was greeted with so much excitement that you’d think this it was the first one that they had ever seen. We read the info facts about all the animals, with what they eat in the wild being a favorite.  I tried to ask a new question at each new animal to see if they could find the answer themselves.  Some of the questions were serious, where in the world do they live?, and some were silly, can you see any poop? Because when it comes to boys, it’s all about the poop.

The penguins are always a big hit. In the past they watched the little birds swim around for a few minutes and then they were ready to move on. This time we watched them for a little longer than usual, but then we spent the same amount of time playing with the life size models outside. They chose their favorite, but if you asked them they wouldn’t have a name, but that his beak was curved and none of the others were, so they needed to pick him!

We learned how a pearl was made, and The E decided that he was my pearl. I agreed.

The G decided that life at a turtles pace must be wonderful. An added bonus, turtles don’t have to go to school ever.  I might love their school, but even though I do, he is still a normal boy who would rather play all day than sit in a school building!

We had never ventured into the education building at the zoo before.  I had always assumed it was offices. I noticed a lot of people coming in and out of the building, so I figured what the heck, we’d go stick our head in to see what was inside. It was about time after 8 years of going to the zoo!  We had been missing out! Lots of costumes, toys and games. G loved the bat costume, they even had a bat exhibit. It was his idea for the upside down photo. Isn’t he clever!

The E was a raccoon and he was trying to shake his tail. I had to sit and watch as they tried on every-single-costume.  Then act out the animal. It was actually very fun and funny. They have such awesome imaginations!   We spent over two hours at the zoo!  I couldn’t believe it. And no one had cried or peed their pants the whole afternoon!  I call that a success!  Even if we are a bit past that stage anyways.  I even survived the costumes, and the fear that one of them would get lice from wearing them all!  It WAS a success!!!!

After a little stroll on the greenbelt and some ‘plays’ and a ‘concert’ on the band shell, we stopped at the rose garden. I promised great things that I had no intentions of fulfilling if they would behave long enough for me to wander aimlessly though one on my favorite places on earth.  It had rained on the drive to the zoo and some of the flowers still had water in them. Beauty at it best. You can’t really see the rain drop in the picture, though.

It was a great day that was topped off by meeting Jason at Panda Express for dinner. As we pulled into the parking lot to the restaurant it started to rain again.  I am so happy that the weather held off for us to have a nice relaxing day at the zoo.  I often think about all the memories that we ‘need’ to make for our kids. That day I realized sometimes we need to make memories for ourselves. My kids my forget this day happened in the coming months or years, but I feel that God gave that day to me to store in my personal ‘home video collection’.  Every time my boys enter a new stage in life I’m always certain that the current stage is my absolute favorite stage so far. This stage is no different. I love their stages separately, but I also love how the boys ages work together to create a third stage. It’s amazing to think I get to be a part of it. I love all the days past, and I love living in the present, but the future is going to be well worth the wait, I can tell.

 

And even though I didn’t take a lot of animal pictures this time, I did have to sneak a meerkat photo in, that are to adorable to pass up!!!  They are my favorite!

 

A Love Story–Part 4

By the time drill rolled around on the first weekend of February, Jason and I had be emailing a lot.  I was starting to open up to him about everything from my unhappiness with Jerk Boy, and my antsiness to graduate and move on.  He was starting to open up to.  I was drifting away from some of my friends that I had been friends with for years and years. I just no longer had the desire to follow those same footsteps anymore. I thought it was all a little juvenileand boring. It was so easy to talk to someone and get it all out when you didn’t have to look at him. And to have him understand what I was talking about. It was all to wonderful to have a confidant.  As I drove to drill in February I went to Jerk Boys house first.  It turned into a replica of past visits. Me having to hunt him down, and then spending enough time with him for HIM to be satisfied and them me leaving. If I didn’t want to be a part of the satisfaction activities, things would get a little rough. It was very degrading, so why did I keep going back?  I still have to ask myself that.  I have no idea. 

After the first night of drill, which turned out to only be an hour,  Jason asked if I wanted to go to the mall with him.  He said La Femme Nikita had other plans, and me staying in my barracks all night would be to boring. He was right. My little room in that big creaky building, that is meant to hold 40-50 people, but was currently housing 2-3 was boring… and scary!  So he waited down in his car as I went to change, and off to a night on the town!  Well not really.  We stopped by his place so he could change.  I felt so awkward in his apartment. It was a teeny tiny college apartment.  But it was his.  My heart was beating so hard, I’m sure he could hear it back in his room while I was still on the couch in the living room.  I couldn’t believe I was in his house.  I was drinking in everything, trying to memorize it all. From the pictures on the wall to the smell. It smelled like him. So good.  And the computer in the corner, the one he used during the month to talk with me. I don’t know why that struck me, but I knew at that point, there was no denying it, no going back.  I was sure I more than liked this person.

We went to Burger King for dinner that night.  I got a kids meal and Jason laughed at me. But I couldn’t justify eating to much or paying more for the same thing.   The toy was a Mr Potato spin top.  I was sure we would be asked to leave after we started to play with it on the table of the restaurant. We were being so loud and crazy. But we were finally having fun. It was so nice.  After we tired of the Mr. Potato we headed of to the mall. We walked through and through and through.  We must have walked down the same halls 4 or 5 times. Talking and talking.  After we got bored of that Jason decided he would take me for a drive.  Of course I didn’t turn him down. He showed me some of the touristy spots. It was difficult because it had gotten dark while we were at the mall.  So after a while he drove me back to my barracks.  I remember as I climbed into to bed that night that it was going to be hard to fall asleep. I was right.

 

Getting ready for Vacation

When I hear the word vacation, I think lazy times ahead. I eagerly look forward to it.   When I was younger we never went on vacation.  My dad was a farmer, and cows and crops simply don’t take breaks.  Then as I got older and we moved off the farm, the factory my dad worked at didn’t take breaks either. If it did, he would work the maintenance crew for the opportunity to continue feeding his family. I always had this visual, this idea on what a vacation was all about.  It was all in my imagination, seeing as I had nothing to compare it to.  After Jason and I were married, we had to wait until the following spring break -9 whole months- before we were able to go on our honeymoon. We went to the Oregon coast, my first time to ever see the ocean. It was wonderful. We had so much fun. I look back on that time alone with such fondness. The carefree vibe it had, the time to connect with each other that normal everday life chokes out. No plans except the spur of the moment idea. I loved every minute of those 3 days.

We are getting ready to leave for our 2008 vacation.  I’m jealous of our honeymoon right now.  10 years (minus 9 months, of course!) we loaded up our car one afternoon and took off. We planned it the day before.  There were no lists, no budgeting, no shopping for weeks before hand to get everything we needed, no Rubbermaid’s for storage. No anything.  Just two backpacks, and two sleeping bags. And two young smiling faces dying to get away together.  We don’t leave for another week, and we already have 4 or 5 different lists.  I’ve been budgeting in our needs into the grocery bill for the last couple of weeks to get everything we need without having to file bankruptcy.  I keep having to point out the highlighted day on the calendar to 2 little boys… one of which knows perfectly well how to read a calendar.  I normally have a pretty high stress level. It takes a lot to really start wearing me down.  This planning is really starting to wear me down!  But I got to thinking.  I don’t think it’s the planning. I think it’s the wanting to leave. I catch myself looking at the calendar along side the boys. The itch to sratch it and just leave now. Throw the stupid lists in the trash recycle, hop in the car and go.  Lists are for the birds anyways.  I know that all we really need are 4 backpacks, 4 sleeping bags and 4 smiling faces dying to get away together to have a really great time.

 

Father’s Day

So yesterday was father’s day.  I always wonder if we are weird in this house as father’s day, as well as mother’s day, isn’t really a huge deal in our house.  We honor our parents on that day, but I expect nothing from Jason, and he expects nothing from me.  As the mother to his children, and not to him, I help the boys pick out a gift, pay and wrap it for them.  Jason is not my father, but the father to my GORGEOUS boys.  I help them prepare, but all the glory is theirs to give. I would hate to take away from them being able to honor their daddy, like I always got to honor mine.

And speaking of mine,  my dad is awesome.  I would go as far to say my dad is the best.  I’m sorry to tell you that.  He is better than yours.  My dad is a very quiet person, but his presence is always known.  If you love to laugh,then listen up, because he always has a joke. You would hate to miss something he says. He took every little silly gift we gave him and oohed and awed over it… even if it did end up in the garbage a few days later. We knew he loved it. He still has a key chain that I bought him 15 years ago, tucked away in his top drawer. It is still in the original box that it came in. I saved up my paper route money to buy him something nice. Something he would never get himself. I saw it at the mall in the window ofa jewelry store. It was a sterling silver tag with the dimond cut word’s ‘#1 Dad’ written on it. He put it in the top drawer that night, where it has stayed ever since. At first I was a little hurt, and when I asked him about it he told me that it was very special and that everyday use would wear it down and make it ugly, and the fact that he might lose it at work was enough to pacify me. He loved it so much he wanted to keep it safe. Now at 29 years later, I can giggle and realize that while I still think it’s pretty, that is exactly the point. It’s pretty. My dad doesn’t really make a habit of carting around ‘pretty’ things!  He could have quietly given it to goodwill or someone else, but he hasn’t. He has kept it. For 15 years. I’ve had a lot of people tell me recently that it must suck to have a birthday that is overshadowed by Father’s Day, but I disagree.  I love that I get to share that special day and that special bond with my dad.  It really is difficult to put into words how much I love my birthday a little more every seventh year.  And it’s all because I get to share it with Daddy.

 

 

 

 

A Love Story — Part 3

In December I joined the world of email. It was a joyous occasion, as emailing was still fairly new. At least to me and my school’s computer. I was glad to have a cheaper way to communicate with Jerk-boy. I was quickly realizing more and more that our relationship wouldn’t continue past graduation. I was all scheduled to ship off to AIT a few weeks after I graduated. I planned on saying good bye to Jerk-boy in June, and not looking back. But for some reason I kept the relationship going. If you could call it a relationship because he NEVER called me and NEVER wanted to spend time with me unless….. well you know. I was begining to hate our time together.

During the January drill our platoon leader wanted to make a contact list with emails. I was so excited because I had one to share, and wouldn’t you know, so did Jason. I gathered all the courage I had to ask Jason what his email address was. So we exchanged addresses, and on Tuesday when I got back to school I had an email from him. My heart stopped cold in my chest and my lungs forgot how to breath! I will never forget what that first email said, unless I get Alzheimer’s, and then I will probably forget. The subject read: ‘Testing’, and all the body said was ‘This is a test to see how well I can remember an email address.’ Pretty cute, ehh? I thought so. And that started my addiction to the computer and checking my email every single chance I got.

 

A Love Story – Part 2

It would seem that when we met, Jason and I were instant friends. We were both new to our unit and platoon, so I think as the newbies and the youngest we just naturally fell into a friendship. We talked to each other about regular ‘going ons’, and about the people who we had drill with. The ones who annoyed us both and the ones we liked. He knew I had a boyfriend and I knew he had a girlfriend, whom I lovingly nicked named La Femme Nikita…. Don’t ask me why. (she was a bit of a feminist) That was about it on the conversations about that. I went home from that first drill, and as any good ‘teenage girl’ would do, I instantly started talking my mothers ear off about all I had done. I went to my friends house and told her all about my time. I told her about Jason and how nice he was, and that little thing that I couldn’t figure out. He was different. He had an air about him. Then it hit me, he had a napoleon complex! You could see in the way he carried himself, the way he walked, how he talked. He was about 3 inches shorter than me, but that didn’t matter much. I had a boyfriend, so I didn’t need to worry if he was my type. But that didn’t stop me from talking about him. After all we were friends now. Who doesn’t talk about their friends? During the next month Jerk Boy came to visit me, but complained the whole time. He just came for the day, he had to be back home. It was such an inconvenience to him to drive all that way just for a day visit. He thought it would make more sense for me to visit him when I had drill. We could meet in the city and spend the afternoon together before I had to be to the base. When the next drill came, he never made it to the city. In fact, when I had called him the day before, he told me he wouldn’t be making it. So I offered to drive all the way to his house to visit, after all it was only 45 minutes past the base. This became the drill. I would go to visit him. He did try to come down to visit one more time, but his tire blew out and he never made it all the way. I drove to get him and we sat in his car until his dad came with a spare. I looked forward to drills. They were like little vacations for me. I got to skip that Friday and the next Monday from school. The platoon Mom was very much that. She was someone who would listen and give advice. The older guys were like crazy uncles, that you love to laugh at. And Jason. He was always there. I knew deep down in my heart that I liked him, but, wouldn’t, or couldn’t admit it. I had a boyfriend and never could I hurt someone like that. Plus, he had a girlfriend too, and I was just a little high school girl…….

 

A Love Story — Part 1

August- September 1997

I got back from basic training at the end of August, just in time to start my senior year of high school. I had met and started dating ‘Jerk-boy’ before we both had left for basic training. Jerk Boy and I were both starting our senior years, and we were both 18. I was fairly happy with the way everything was going. Jerk-boy was my first boyfriend. I was basking in the glow of being in a relationship. This glow is wonderful, but it can also be dangerous. Jerk-boy lived in a town 3 hours away from mine, so we had a relationship over the phone. I was giving a lot of my waitressing money to MCI calling cards. Jason had just returned from active duty. He was going to finish up his second enlistment in the guard, while going to school at the local university. He was 25, and was dating a girl from his high school years, her name was ‘IT’. He had dated her on and off all through his Army years. He would come home on leave and they would start dating. He would leave, and she would break up with him. When he came home to stay, they thought that would try it again. My first drill wasn’t until September, and that was the first time Jason and I met. Drill was in the city Jason lived in, and I had to drive 2 hours to get there. I was very nervous about going to drill that first time. I was new, and didn’t know what to expect. I was scared to be in such a big town by myself. Would I get lost? Would my little beater car make it? Would I fit in? Would I know what to do? When I got to the base I had to register my car. The person in that building was quite short with me so that only made me more nervous. He pointed me in the general direction of the building I needed to go. I drove around for a bit until I found the building. For such a small base, nerves can wreck havoc on your sense of direction! The secretary was friendly enough and she helped me get settled in my room. Well in a large barracks. With cement floors and metal bunk beds. I was perfectly fine with staying there, only I assumed there would be others there with me. There was not. I was in a huge, cold, and deserted barracks alone. This did not help my nerves. At all. But I bucked up and I got dressed in my BDU’s and made my way to the drill hall. I met our platoon sergeant, and was issued all of my gear. This took forever. Sgt. G. took my on a very vague tour of what I needed to know. While I was standing in the drill hall waiting to follow Sgt. G. to wherever he planned on going, I was standing there trying not to look bored. I saw this guy come into the hall. He was carrying a Maverick coffee cup, and he was walking straight towards us, with such a confident stride. It appeared as if he didn’t have a care in the world. He was the first one to acknowledge my presence. I knew I was going to get along with him right away. He was funny and lively. Not stuffy and grumpy like the other men in the platoon. I was the only girl, besides the 40+ year old woman, who I quickly realized why she had the nickname of Mom. We talked effortlessly. It was like we had known each other for awhile. There was something about him that I couldn’t  quite figure out……………